10 Years ago Today

My boys

​Ten years ago today, as placed a banana into the blender at 10:30am, I had a sudden vision: I saw myself walking downstairs and telling my husband it was time. 
And just after that vision landed, the intense wave of my first contraction (or surge as they are called in the hypnobirthing world)washed over me.

I had three more within the next half hour, about ten minutes apart. Then suddenly they were five minutes apart - only a half hour after they started! I wasn’t sure what to do - this was WAY faster than what was expected and it was my first child and still ten days before my due date. I called the hospital - I was advised once surges are five minutes apart to go to the hospital (We had decided on a hospital birth due to historical family complications with births). The women I spoke to were great, coaching me to trust my body and urged me to call my doula. Once I got her on the line, she asked me a few questions and when I answered “yes” to all of them, she said, “It’s go time,” and was on her way.

Between surges, my husband made me a meal, which I tried to eat between the waves - I would need the energy. My mom came over from work a couple hours later. I have such a memory of the beautiful afternoon sunlight streaming through the living room window, warm though golden leaves, and my mom, who birthed me holding me and smiling. 

Everything moved really quickly. Chris raced around the house gathering the last few things (for anyone in this position, learn from us and save yourself from additional stress! Don’t just have a list, have a checklist for your hospital or birthing center bag - I had been packing it and Chris didn’t know what was there, what wasn’t, and where the remaining items are.)

We had gone to hypnobirthing classes throughout my pregnancy, which I highly recommend. I didn’t want to know how dilated I was, as suggested by them. I wanted to trust my body, go with the energy of this process instead of being afraid. I met each surge like a wave, breathed through it, and stayed as present as I could.

Within a couple hours, the surges were two minutes apart. We headed for the hospital, and the fun British midwife, instead of telling me how dilated I was, said, “Well, I wish I could prescribe your cervix,” which made everyone laugh — even me, between contractions.
They got me right into the tub - this was a good sign, as it meant I was close to transition. The lights were low. Our fake candles glowed around the tub. We had lavender nearby, and calm music playing. I closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm of my breath. All those hours of practice were SO helpful.

Only two hours after arriving at the hospital, I wanted to push. I said it out loud — twice — and nothing happened. I knew I couldn’t birth my baby in the tub in this hospital. On the third time, I opened my eyes and realized it was only my mom and Chris in the room. I learned that the nurses and midwife had stepped out for a shift change, and my doula had just gone to take a break.
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I hollered, “Get the nurse!” My mom ran to find help. Within minutes, everyone was back, and they moved me onto the table. Our British midwife decided to stay on to see the birth through and twenty minutes later, this little being came out of my body.

Nico Skye P, Born November 3, 2015 at 6:33pm, full head of hair and all!

​We didn’t know yet that he was a boy. It was a total surprise as he twisted out and into my husband’s arms — and such a relief to be done. My throat was raw from the hollering through the last stages, but I felt so alive. As soon as he was born, with a FULL head of long hair (!!) we put Hugh Masekela’s ”African Secret Society on in the background and just breathed and smiled and took in this new life.
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Eight and a half hours from start to finish. A blur of light, sound, and love.
Now, ten years later, my boy is growing into the most amazing human — creative, funny, full of energy, and endlessly loving.

My happy, now-10-year-old boy, this morning before school.

​I’m so grateful I got to become a mother, even with all the challenges, it is an incredible adventure. 

I hope wherever you are on your journey, you take time to reflect and celebrate the big moments. Here’s to the gift that is life!