Cousin David’s Sailboat Dream

And how it unexpectedly inspired my own exploration and maybe yours too.

Steve and David are my mom's first cousins - two kind hearted, talented, thoughtful brothers who passed within this last year, three months apart. We recently gathered in Bend to celebrate their lives. I loved connecting with my wider family and the experience left me feeling a deeper sense of belonging and excitement about continuing to grow those relationships. I loved celebrating these two brother’s legacies and the family I feel so lucky and privileged to originate from.

About a week before going to Bend, a friend of mine shared that she was going to take sailing lessons. I’d never considered this and thought that was pretty cool and brave of her. She lost her husband suddenly last fall, who was a co-assistant coach with my husband for our son’s baseball team for several years, and someone embedded in our school community.

The morning after the celebration, which was my mom’s birthday, we went back to the the property, where the event had been, to collect some things we’d left behind, some treasures offered to us and to help the family break down the event. At the end, one of my cousins took me across the field to David’s boat that had just been offered to our family. A few years ago my parents sold their house and purchased a small raw plot of land along the Columbia River for our family to share. We’d been talking about some day maybe getting a boat, but a sailboat wasn’t on our radar. None of us have any experience sailing.
Interestingly, three years ago to the exact day of Steve and David’s Celebration of Life, my son reached down in a sea of clover that morning to pick his first and only 4 leaf clover. It was the day before my mom’s birthday and the anniversary of her sister’s passing. It was also the day we found this magical plot of land, which was a long time family dream, particularly of my grand mother’s, who’s in spirit. I know she and other family members in spirit were involved in helping this happen.
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So the timing was pretty magically aligned! All this as well as my friend who’d just signed up for sailing lessons and told me just before the visit.

Our beautiful land. I dream of hosting day retreats here once we have the facilities in place!

Even though sailing and owning a sailboat wasn’t at all on my radar, and the idea seemed a bit overwhelming, it felt like maybe all of these things were signs to lean in, and I was intrigued. We discussed it as a family and my brother right away knew it wasn’t for him. It would need to be one of us in our generation that would spearhead it. So when he was definitive about that, I was a little surprised by a clear invitation that seemed to open up in me.
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I was intimidated, but my intimidation didn’t outweigh my curiosity, and as I started to think this idea through and begin to research, a little fire started to light in my heart.

So I had a little conversation with David in the sprit realm and asked him to show me the way and if it was to be, for his dream of learning to sail, to blossom and blend into becoming a dream he inspired in me, that the process of discovery be easeful, magical and clear.

I connect with people who’ve passed away many times a week, almost always for clients I’ve never met, and bring through clear evidence of their loved ones who’ve crossed over, their personalities, often how they passed, and beautiful support and healing for their living loved one who is sitting across from me in my office or somewhere else in the world online. So reaching out to connect with David in the spirit world is not an unusual thing for me, but connecting with those I already know, particularly family, is a different kind of experience, often less clear and more of a felt sense. It was sweet.
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As I was talking this idea through with my husband last week, we thought that the first step was to get me on a sailboat so I could even see if I liked the experience. I maybe was on one as a small child but beyond that, I’d had no experience. He remembered we have a friend with a sailboat but last he’d heard, it was up in the San Juan Islands. I reached out right then to explain the situation and see if he might be willing to take me out so I could experience it and see if it felt like a fit. He wrote back immediately and was encouraging and excited about the Windrose 18. He’d grown up sailing a very similar boat. Turned out his boat was in Portland and he was going out in three days before being unable to do so for several weeks and invited me on board.

At the helm learning to harness the wind on my friend John’s boat.

I had a GREAT time, asked lots of questions and continued to feel inspired. I loved the feeling of harnessing the raw power of the wind and the dance of balancing all the different things that need tending. He has a 30’ boat which is very different from an 18’ boat, but it was an important part of my discovery experience.

Interestingly I’d just been talking to my therapist about a week and a half before about my days in the fashion industry and the part of me that loves adventure and that sense of raw power - riding the wave of adrenaline that was part of that world. How that sense had manifested in different ways in my life through the years, and in that conversation I was discovering that I was ready to shift into a new creative way of experiencing that sensation of connection. Being on the boat seemed to be such a clear answer to this desire, just landing in my lap.

And again, the timing…✨

So the next step was to sort out how to assess the status of this Windrose 18. What shape is it in, is it even possible to use it?

There isn’t a lot of sailing in the Bend area, I learned, so there aren’t any marine surveyors to come out and give an official report on the status of the boat. But I found in my research that at Elk Lake Resort there is a marina and this is where sailing happens. I called and asked if they could connect me with the experts there to see if they could recommend someone in the community who might be able to take a look. They pointed me in the direction of their facebook page and so I made a post explaining the potential inheritance and asking for help. Right away a man named Cal wrote back and shared that he knows his way around boats and, in fact, actually owned a Windrose 18. Wow! Another amazing piece unfolding quickly and beautifully. Not only that but it turned out that he lives close to my cousin and was available that evening to come take a look. I offered to compensate him for his time and expertise and he said there was no need, he was happy to help. Wow. So I connected him with my cousin and within a couple hours he was there.

My mom happened to come by my house in Portland right then and within minutes of her arriving, I got a FaceTime call from my cousin. Cal was handed the phone and said with a big smile on his face, “I was prepared to give you some bad news, but that’s not what I have for you. This boat is in great shape!” And he took us through the boat for about an hour explaining the parts and their condition, how it has been modified and has some really nice upgrades. David had clearly put some love into the boat and it was really cool to see that and see Cal’s passionate excitement too. He said it needs new sails, transom (the spot that holds the engine) and new tires on the trailer. Otherwise everything is ready to go.

This has all been happening so quickly! I went sailing last Monday and that conversation happened the next night. I was so excited, I just said yes right away to the opportunity, a little tear filled on that call.

It has been an emotionally potent experience, this adventure and full of gifts. At any turn there could be a part of the situation that could be a deal breaker and opening my heart to this budding potential of a dream that’s been inspired and initiated by David and his living siblings who’ve offered his boat has felt exciting and also a bit vulnerable in such an alive meaning filled way that I’ve been opening my heart to. But every part so far has been magically laying itself out in front of me in such a lovely way.
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I’d love to honor David’s dream, see if it might become mine and maybe even my family’s too, and give it a try. I love the idea of envisioning memories made together out on the water, learning a new skill inspired by my cousin with the gift of his labor and his dream, honoring the elements and being close to nature and those we love who are no longer with us.

This beautiful pair of watercolor paintings that sit together or apart are of David on the left and Steve on the right. By my talented mom, Connie Cohen, who does memorial portrait paintings. Something to maybe consider for your loved ones in spirit.

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So when I awoke in the night with a clear sense to write about this and invite you to be on the journey with me, it felt like yet another piece that was falling into my lap. I’ve signed up for sailing lessons that start next week. I hope I find it to be invigorating and fun.
I hope you say “yes” to the vulnerable and beautiful offerings that are presenting themselves to you in your life too. What have you been drawn to doing but feels scary or intimidating? Maybe give it a try and we’ll be on this journey of discovery and evolution together.

​I also want to invite you to something. My mom and I are facilitating a “Singing into Belonging” All Voices Choir at Temple of Belonging this fall, an incredible regional women and girls retreat really close to Portland, OR. It is one of the most amazing retreat experiences I’ve had and I highly recommend it! Sep 23-27. For more why singing, check out this post.

https://annablossom.substack.com/p/the-power-of-singing-for-incarcerated

Thanks for reading! With so much love,

Muses of a Medium